Welcome Peewee420!!

[Northwinds]

Just came to me that I had done crystal before, back around 1983. My buddy Jeff and I made stovetop crystal with Benzedrex inhalents (when you could still get it over the counter). He booted it. Made me feel dirty so I just sprinkled the crystals into a joint and smoked it

I remember doing angledust in Louisiana also. That shit was crazy. I had an old Corvair back then and I swear I could hear the sparkplugs fire. Never messed with that stuff again either

Acid was my drug of choice besides weed, even to this day. The rest, not so much and not at all. Now there is some crazy stuff going around, animal tranqualizers are the rage again here in CT. They can have that too

 

[Peewee420]

Man, I hope you left that love of your life in the past. I have lost a few friends over the years to heroin (and heroin mixed with speed). I miss them all to this day and still can't believe they basically killed themselves over a drug

For sure,bud!!! We had our time together,but "All Things Must Pass"....I'm too young to have been to as many funerals as I already have. And I'm sure there will be more to come,as well....Heroin becomes you. They had lost their lives before they ever died....I was right there,too, but luckily I had a brother who loved me enough to open my eyes,somehow........
"Guess I opened my eyes in the nick of time,Cuz it sure felt like the end of the line"

 

[laatsch55]

That's when it happens, you just didn't do that last blast...

 

[Northwinds]

For sure,bud!!! We had our time together,but "All Things Must Pass"....I'm too young to have been to as many funerals as I already have. And I'm sure there will be more to come,as well....Heroin becomes you. They had lost their lives before they ever died....I was right there,too, but luckily I had a brother who loved me enough to open my eyes,somehow........
"Guess I opened my eyes in the nick of time,Cuz it sure felt like the end of the line"

That's awesome man, not many can kick it when they are deep in it. I saw people stealing from their own families to support thier habit. I can't imagine being that desperate to rip of those that I love for an addiction

You are very lucky to have Jason there when you needed him, most family turn away and that just makes the situation worse for the addicted person. You need a support system that's always there, you need the love of your family

 

[laatsch55]

And sometimes the only family are those that are addicted. If it wasn't for me having Jani and Jani having me we'd have been dead, no doubt in my mind...a better woman a man could not have, loves loud music, doesn't bitch about the money spent on it, only that it has to sound better....my God I'm lucky...

 

[Peewee420]

That's awesome man, not many can kick it when they are deep in it. I saw people stealing from their own families to support thier habit. I can't imagine being that desperate to rip of those that I love for an addiction

You are very lucky to have Jason there when you needed him, most family turn away and that just makes the situation worse for the addicted person. You need a support system that's always there, you need the love of your family

I wouldn't be talking to all of you today if it weren't for that bastard lol.....Even though right now,as he reads this thread he is totally cussing me out."Little bastard just turned my website into a drug board"...that's what he's thinking lol

But I want to thank all of you for the support,and for being so cool,and welcoming me into the community so warmly You guys are the best!!!

 

[Skynyrd77]

It hasn't been easy on either of us!! But blood is blood!!

 

[laatsch55]

No subjects are off limits here, whatever needs to be put out there is fine, that's what is different about this place. Should have read my shit when I kicked, about 30-40 posts over that. Life is what it is and you can't segregate parts of it from the other stuff...

 

[laatsch55]

It hasn't been easy on either of us!! But blood is blood!!

And friends are friends and love connects us all..

 

[Northwinds]

I wouldn't be talking to all of you today if it weren't for that bastard lol.....Even though right now,as he reads this thread he is totally cussing me out."Little bastard just turned my website into a drug board"...that's what he's thinking lol

But I want to thank all of you for the support,and for being so cool,and welcoming me into the community so warmly You guys are the best!!!

You'll find we are all family here Brother. None of us are perfect, we have all seen the elephant. We can be real with each other here and no one is going to point the finger of scorn at you. I am no saint, many things in my past I am not proud of but overcoming them and learning from the badtimes was a battle hardfought. I still fight demons, we all do. We just have to be stronger then them

 

[premiumplus]

You'll find we are all family here Brother. None of us are perfect, we have all seen the elephant. We can be real with each other here and no one is going to point the finger of scorn at you. I am no saint, many things in my past I am not proud of but overcoming them and learning from the badtimes was a battle hardfought. I still fight demons, we all do. We just have to be stronger then them

Amen, brother! And when those demons come, and they will, tell 'em to get the hell off of you. Don't let the crazies out there influence your thinking. I love an old line that goes something like this..."How do you stay clean with all those whirling dervishes around you???" "I let 'em whirl." And that's it, just got to let it go.
I was addicted to damn near everything...speed, meth, acid, pot, coke, alcohol, tobacco...and I rode that shit almost to my grave. Almost is the key word here. I finally realized that I was the problem, not you, or your friends, or someone else. The problem exists between my ears and I had to learn how to deal with it without using. Thank God that I had people like all of you who told me that I wasn't alone, that it could be done, and that I could be happy once again...without all that shit.
So congrats and welcome to the Phoenix community, brother Peewee...I think that Phoenix is a great name for this place, because it's all about rising from the ashes, be it equipment from long ago, or even our own lives that we've trashed somehow.
I lost every material thing I ever had, twice, to drugs and booze. And today I've got more than I ever had before...go figure.
Love all you guys!

 

[Northwinds]

Amen, brother! And when those demons come, and they will, tell 'em to get the hell off of you. Don't let the crazies out there influence your thinking. I love an old line that goes something like this..."How do you stay clean with all those whirling dervishes around you???" "I let 'em whirl." And that's it, just got to let it go.
I was addicted to damn near everything...speed, meth, acid, pot, coke, alcohol, tobacco...and I rode that shit almost to my grave. Almost is the key word here. I finally realized that I was the problem, not you, or your friends, or someone else. The problem exists between my ears and I had to learn how to deal with it without using. Thank God that I had people like all of you who told me that I wasn't alone, that it could be done, and that I could be happy once again...without all that shit.
So congrats and welcome to the Phoenix community, brother Peewee...I think that Phoenix is a great name for this place, because it's all about rising from the ashes, be it equipment from long ago, or even our own lives that we've trashed somehow.
I lost every material thing I ever had, twice, to drugs and booze. And today I've got more than I ever had before...go figure.
Love all you guys!

Well said indeed

 

[Peewee420]

Amen, brother! And when those demons come, and they will, tell 'em to get the hell off of you. Don't let the crazies out there influence your thinking. I love an old line that goes something like this..."How do you stay clean with all those whirling dervishes around you???" "I let 'em whirl." And that's it, just got to let it go.
I was addicted to damn near everything...speed, meth, acid, pot, coke, alcohol, tobacco...and I rode that shit almost to my grave. Almost is the key word here. I finally realized that I was the problem, not you, or your friends, or someone else. The problem exists between my ears and I had to learn how to deal with it without using. Thank God that I had people like all of you who told me that I wasn't alone, that it could be done, and that I could be happy once again...without all that shit.
So congrats and welcome to the Phoenix community, brother Peewee...I think that Phoenix is a great name for this place, because it's all about rising from the ashes, be it equipment from long ago, or even our own lives that we've trashed somehow.
I lost every material thing I ever had, twice, to drugs and booze. And today I've got more than I ever had before...go figure.
Love all you guys!

And friends are friends and love connects us all..

Well,I'm glad that I finally got on here and got to meet all of you!!! And friends you all are And Ron,that's fkn awesome that you are REAL people. These days,it seems like everyone wears a mask.....it's nice to be where you can be yourself!!!!!! I have a feeling I've found a new home,and family here!!!!!

 

[laatsch55]

That is why we are here peewee, ok whats your name ?? this place has saved peoples lives, as in my tunebox does at times also cause if it weren't able to overwhelm my emotions at times I would go postal on a few folks. And what it really is , is knowing that YOU decide what hurts you or NOT. It is you, the final arbiter, of what and HOW things ultimately affect YOU.....how did that go........" Gotta change my way of thinkin, gotta fgind myself a different set of rules...."

 

[Peewee420]

That is why we are here peewee, ok whats your name ?? this place has saved peoples lives, as in my tunebox does at times also cause if it weren't able to overwhelm my emotions at times I would go postal on a few folks. And what it really is , is knowing that YOU decide what hurts you or NOT. It is you, the final arbiter, of what and HOW things ultimately affect YOU.....how did that go........" Gotta change my way of thinkin, gotta fgind myself a different set of rules...."

My name is Kyle,but I've been Peewee since I was like 2 yrs. old. So either works,actually still most everyone calls me Peewee, so its up to you,I answer to either lol And that was quite insightful....people can help you through the battles,but the war is only decided by one person.Yourself.

 

[laatsch55]

I am a lot less angry now that I BELIEVE that I am responsible for how things AFFECT me. Whatever is said or done it is up to me whether I'm going to give someone else the power to alter my existence, or how I interacty with my reality. Words are just that, and so is a smack in the face....just don't do it twice...yes I have a ways to go....

 

[laatsch55]

Peewee is to long to type for me so you might get PW for yor nickname around here...

 

[Northwinds]

I am pretty sure we are all 'real" people here Brother. It is nice to know that there are folks on here who actually give a shit about others. I get so tired of the pompous asses on another board who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth and never knew what it was to struggle. Or worse yet, the people who feel they are superior to others. We are all flesh and blood. It's the choices in life you make as well as circumstances around you that make you who you are. Again, I am no saint and I am sure there is a spot reserved in hell for me but as long as a few friends are there with me, I'll manage. The devil may find he has bitten off more then he can chew. There is good in me that far outweighs the bad. I just hope God looks at it that way when my time comes

Do I wish my life was easier? Everday man, everyday but like Lee and others have said, we set our own course into the wind and the journey will have pitfalls. Pretty much all my life has been a struggle... I moved out of home when I was 15, got Emancipated and proceeded to f@#K up my life royally. Now I will be turning 50 and I look back everyday to see what I could have done different. I realize now there is nothing because if I had, I would not have my kids as they are, I would probably not have met the friends that I have in life and I probably would not be on this board typing to another Brother hundres of miles away to say, I have been there, your not alone

I realize I will keep struggling, there is no Powerball ticket with my name on it to make it easier and every year it will just get harder for Debbie and I. We will just keep our heads up and keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope tomorrow brings a little respite

 

[Peewee420]

lol Thats just fine I get that a lot,too

 

[laatsch55]

Why are the instruments melting in your avatar?