"Very dark place" A place that I am all to familiar with.
Buprioion-Wellbutrin x2 daily
Lithium Carbonate x2 daily
Lamotrigine-Lamictal x2 daily
Quitipine-Seroquel As needed and every night.
Topiramate. (Off label use) x1 daily
Life can be a mother fucker. This is a good place.
That is a toxic cocktail.
Currently in the fight for the life I never had due to being on meds since age 9. Wrong wrong wrong. Its a tough situation, and I didnt have the power to say no or make decisions at that age. Then by the time I was old enough, I was too messed up to get off them. 36 years later, its my 7th attempt and it will take 2-3 years. I cant work due to that and other medical conditions.
As I take less and less meds, I realise how wrong I was in so many situations due to being drugged up and missing the opportunity to properly deal with and process bad shit that happened throughout life. I would flip out and deal with it the wrong way, which created further problems.
At age 47, I dont mind being wrong, and now all those demons I am facing through EMDR treatment by a registered psychologist. It is brutal and confronting, but all that stuff that happened needs to be revisited and processed properly so I can move on.
The med taper continues, and it sucks, but I can’t go on like this medicated. It does horrible shit to your mind and body. The side effects are ridiculous.
The drugs are designed to make you a life customer, and if you talk to a medical professional about coming off them, they will encourage you to do it fast to almost guarantee failure so that you end up back on the meds and possibly have another med added which is what happened in my case 12 years ago.
Big pharma and the docs dont really care for your health, they are trained to do what they are told.
The more medicated you are, the easier you are to control, many get stuck on the hamster wheel. Due to side effects and problems caused by the medication, they just end up on more meds. When in actual fact, the psych meds are causing 90% of the problems.
Psych meds are ok for a short period of time if the person is not coping and needs an out. But remember, all that shit that is not dealt with and gets suppressed, will have to be revisited and dealt with correctly in the future.
I know this all too well, and there is a lot of ‘stuff’ to get through.